I remember when I first started my youtube channel. I had naive dreams of instant success and when those dreams didn't pan out I was bummed and stopped uploading for a bit. After some reflection, though I realized there are many definitions of what success looks like and success for me isn't going to be what everyone else defines as success. If I wanted to I could do gear reviews, how to's, and comment on everyone's videos to establish a rapport with the community and then maybe I'd get more views and subscribers but that's not what I want. I want to take the weird ideas that are in my head and release them to the world even if no one else cares. On my channel, I aim to be creative for creativity's sake. Because of my stubbornness and refusal to be conventionally successful, I thought I'd never have more than a handful of subscribers. I know 100 subscribers isn't very many in the grand scheme of things and most of my videos barely have 100 views if that but it's still kind of neat to have this moment. I've been making these videos purely for myself yet there are a 100 people out there who think I'm good enough to subscribe to. It's a weird thought to wrap my head around.
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October 2022
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